Ghosted
Are You Truly Busy…or Going Ghost?
I didn’t realize that the term ghost (in verb form) dates back to the 1800s. In fact, the earliest use of the verb ghost is defined as “to move silently like a ghost”. With the role that today’s technology plays in our daily communications, it’s no surprise people are taking the easy way out and choosing to be “invisible” in difficult situations. After all, isn’t abruptly folding so much easier than facing the ugly hand that’s been dealt? Yep, I’ve been ghosted. And unfortunately, I am also guilty of being the ghost.
Most often, ghosting is applied to love relationships. A partner decides to vanish without notice or explanation. No calls. No social media connection. End of sentence. Period. You have been officially ghosted. What’s troubling is that this act of disappearance has evolved into relationships beyond loving couples. Friendships are affected. Business relationships are affected. We’re choosing to take the easy way out of uncomfortable situations versus addressing them head on.
The problem I have with this behavior is that we use a myriad of excuses to rationalize playing Capture the Ghost. Examples: I didn’t get to your resume. I didn’t put you on my calendar. I haven’t had time to look over your proposal. I don’t have your number in my contacts. These are all seemingly acceptable responses to inquiries about your whereabouts. But they are way too convenient.
We need to buck up and face the realities of these situations. The job applicant isn’t a good fit. So, tell her. She deserves to know. The opportunity that originally existed for the outside contractor simply isn’t there now. So, be honest and respond to the proposal. If you don’t have someone’s contact number, that’s on you. Make the effort and find a way to locate it. Quit making that an excuse for going ghost.
On the flip side, being ghosted is hurtful, no matter the situation. As the ghostee, you start questioning yourself. Did I say the right thing? Did I do something to offend the person? How much is too much before you throw in the towel and just give up? When you’ve been ghosted, it’s sometimes easier to just go ghost yourself. We are all busy people. That’s a crutch, people! We should never find ourselves so busy that we can’t be compassionate enough to at least respond. Whether that response is positive or negative-------some type of response is much better than no response at all.
Getting ghosted sucks. No matter the circumstance. At the same time, it’s kind of like ripping off a Band-Aid. It hurts badly for a minute, but it allows the air in to heal the wound you probably shouldn’t have gotten in the first place. Keep working on yourself and tell the ghosts to get lost.
