This blog post honors my father who just celebrated his 86th birthday. The content comes from a section of my first book: Out of the Gate: What inspires us drives us forward. This was written in 2020 at the height of the pandemic. It’s a gentle reminder of how valuable human interaction is in our lives. I know I will never take it for granted.
My father doesn’t know a stranger. It is one of his many gifts. The first time that he meets someone, he seems to effortlessly make them feel as though he has known them his entire life. Knowing the importance of first impressions, he was big on making sure his kids were comfortable with first-time introductions. He worked to instill the importance of being confident, and making sure that first “Hello, nice to meet you” was authentic and true to our individual personalities.
One of the first things that I learned about meeting and greeting someone was the significance of the firm handshake and looking the person straight in the eye. No sweaty palms. No limp hand embraces. Now, take under consideration these learning moments took place circa 1976. I remember thinking how cool it would be to be able to walk into a business office and meet with executives. I think that learning how adults interact made us feel grown up in a way. I always wanted to be older than I was at a given point. “Fourteen going on forty,” as my mom would say. (Good gracious, how that mindset has changed!)
How did we master the handshake? Role-playing and practicing in our living room played a big part. “Hello, I’m Henrietta Pepper. So nice to meet you,” I pronounced as my twelve-year-old, awkward body extended a handshake to my nine-year-old brother. He would then reciprocate. We would even go so far as to enter through our home’s front door to create the sense of a realistic experience. We loved practicing with my Dad too, especially the handshake part. I remember trying to lock in a monster grip and not letting go until he did!
I always get comments about my firm handshake. In my early adult years, I would sometimes be a little embarrassed. After all, I didn’t want to come across as too masculine or hard-core. As I matured, I started owning it and embracing the comments as part of my personal brand. Everyone has their own attributes. Occasionally, when someone comments on my confident gesture with “You’ve got a strong handshake,” one will add the phrase “for a woman.” I’ve chosen to take those lobs as backhanded compliments rather than insulting remarks. More times than not, sincere comments about my first impressions are meant to be flattering, and it works to bolster my confidence . . . every time.
As I write this, it’s spring of 2020. The world is dealing with the COVID-19 virus. This time of social distancing, elbow pumps, and general lack of physical touching demonstrates how it’s only human nature to put out your hand for a shake when greeting someone. I hope that when this crisis period fades (and it will), we don’t make the fist bump our first mode of introduction. And my handshakes often evolve into hugs when I get to know someone well. (Yes, I’m one of those huggers.)
My guess is that we’re going to be clamoring for festive gatherings, face- to-face conversations that aren’t six feet apart, and actually meeting new people in-person rather than on Zoom or GoToMeeting.com gatherings. At the moment, I’m truly missing the good, old-fashioned handshake and looking someone in the eye. I look forward to resuming day-to-day human interaction. You can be sure, every time I hear a compliment about my death grip of a handgrip, I will continue to give my dad the credit he deserves. Thanks again, Dad.
